If you are experiencing an addiction, then I can help you to find lasting resolution to it. I use a powerful form of psychotherapy for addiction, especially developed to deal with the underlying causes of it. The treatment for addiction I use is called Inner Child Therapy, specifically a type called Parks Inner Child Therapy, developed by Penny Parks, a leading figure in the field of therapy for abuse and trauma. If you would like to know more about Penny Parks, visit her on YouTube or read up more information on Parks Inner Child Therapy (PICT) here.
To find out more about how my treatments for addiction work, read on, or get in touch to book your free, 30-minute consultation.
What addiction is
An addiction is a disease-driven use of any form of mood alteration that has life-damaging consequences. Alcohol, drugs, and foods are the most dramatic mood alterers, as they have an inherent chemical potential for mood alteration.
But there are many other ways our feelings can be changed or numbed out. There are activity addictions (work, shopping, gambling, sex, body-building, religious rituals); cognitive addictions (over-thinking, staying in your head); feeling addictions (sadness, joy, fear, rage); and addictions to things (money is the most popular ‘thing’).
An attempt to heal the wound inside
Contrary to popular belief, addictions don’t just happen because of predisposed genetics in a family*. They start for another reason. That reason is a ‘wound’ inflicted upon the ‘inner child’ inside us. This wounded inner child is in a constant state of craving and insatiable neediness. *(read my ‘alcoholism note’ at the end of this page for more on this).
How the inner child became wounded
In nearly all cases, the ravenous, wounded state of the inner child was originally caused by our parents (or main carers); and the level of insatiable craving, from which our inner child suffers, is determined by how much dysfunction, neediness and shame our own parents have inflicted upon us (often unintentionally) when we were growing up. For example…
Most people agree an alcoholic mother and co-dependent father cannot be there properly for their children. The alcoholic is absorbed in drinking and the co-dependent is absorbed with the alcoholic. They simply cannot be present for their children emotionally. The same is true when both parents are under any chronic stress, including: addictions to work, religious activities; eating disorders, addictions to control or perfectionism; mental or physical illness. Whatever the disorder, when parents are absorbed in their own emotional issues, they can’t be there for their children. No dysfunctional parent can give their child what he or she needs, because they are too needy themselves. Needy parents shame their children by not having time for them and also by rejecting them for who they are.
Ultimately, shame creates the deep wound
When a child cannot get the unconditional, non-judgmental love and acceptance they need back from their parents; or when the parents are too busy to spend time with the child; or when parents lose control and scream or shout verbal abuse at the child, then that child is left with the deepest wound imaginable – that of inherited shame; of not being loved for who they are; of not being valued as truly precious, above all else. Their sense of uniqueness; their ‘I AM-ness’, is not granted. This feeling of being flawed, diminished and never quite measuring up; of feeling “I’m not good enough” is so much worse than guilt. With guilt, you’ve done something wrong; but you can repair it. With shame there’s something wrong with you and there’s nothing you can do about it; you are inadequate and defective. Toxic shame is the core of the wounded inner child.
This can lead to addiction
Children are needy by nature, not by choice. So in a dysfunctional home a child grows up into adolescence seeking out substitutes for genuine love, often finding powerful ways (addictive ways) to numb out the emotions and hurt caused by the wound inside. For some, it’s addictive behaviours like co-dependence (people-pleasing, putting others’ feelings before our own); for others it is activities, like sexual promiscuity or pornography, in an attempt to satiate the emptiness left by an ‘emotionally absent’ mother or father who could not return proper love; for some others still, it’s recreational, chemical stimulants – to help numb them and alter their mood, such as: alcohol, nicotine, cannabis and cocaine.
I have an addiction, so what can I do?
Addiction is neither incurable, nor inevitable. But you will have to do the work if you want to heal your inner child and gain lasting resolution.
The Inner Child Therapy I use is not intended to replace any 12 Step group you belong to: in fact, it can enhance your 12 Step work. If you are currently in active addiction with drugs or alcohol then you are not ready for the therapy I use. You should join a 12 Step group today. They are the best thing for stopping addictions. You will need to prove your sobriety for at least 1 year before you can commence therapy for addiction with me (**PLEASE READ MY CAUTION BELOW). Once you are past the raw emotions that occur in the early days of recovery and you feel ready to look at the painful childhood experiences that caused your addiction, without a risk of slipping back, then you are ready to start. I will reiterate this for you again, you will need to actually do the work with me to heal your inner child if you want to gain lasting resolution.
This can be a quick process
Using my therapy practice, this process needn’t take years, it can take months or even weeks. So, forget everything you have experienced from talking therapies before; this is about quick, lasting resolution to addiction: not “talking-it-out-of-you”, or ‘coping tools.’
Ultimately, its up to you
Don’t put up with it; as I have said before, the addiction you have is neither inevitable, nor incurable. Working with me, using the powerful, lasting therapies*** I employ means you do at last have a choice.
As a requirement of my professional qualifications, I have undergone the same therapies I employ and have experienced all the techniques used to bring about lasting resolution, and have witnessed first-hand, like my clients, the incredible results of using it. So, what I can say is, don’t dismiss it; you need to experience it first-hand, to see for yourself.
Contact Damon to book your Free Consultation
To find out more, call me today on 07702 911787 for a FREE, no-obligation 30 minutes initial consultation.
Alcoholism is genetic, isn’t it?
There seems to be ample evidence that alcoholism is rooted in genetics. Genetic inheritance plays a part, however the inheritance factor isn’t sufficient to explain alcoholism. If it were, all children of alcoholics would also become alcoholic and this is not the case. I have never once found a person whose addiction was purely chemical, despite the fact that some chemicals addict people very quickly – like crack. The common underlying factor is the wounded inner child. It is the insatiable root of all addictive behaviour. My evidence for this is when alcoholics are able to stop their chemical addiction, they turn to other forms of mood alteration, such as working, eating or smoking compulsively.
Inner Child Therapy is not intended to replace any 12 step programme that you belong to. If you are in active (drugs or alcohol) addiction, you are out of control and out of touch with your true feelings. You must modify that behaviour first before commencing therapy for addiction with me. For this, you need to join a 12 step group. There are many available so find one that feels right for you. You will need at least one year of sobriety under your belt before coming to me. In the early days of recovery from an addiction, especially drugs and alcohol, your emotions are raw. If you explore painful childhood experience too early you run the risk of being overwhelmed and slipping back into your addiction.
***There is a strict standard of eligibility, which must be adhered to, as to whether ‘Inner Child’ therapy is suitable for individual clients, that will be made clear to you at our consultation together.